You are communicating even if you don’t use words

Story of “not telling Julie” whereas you don’t talk to her, talk to her abruptly, exclude her from key decisions, don’t give her responsibility, etc. 

In the difficult conversations course that I run, I quite often hear the same story. Somebody has an issue with another person at work, that they haven't addressed. They choose not to say anything. It makes them feel uncomfortable. They worry about the repercussions. They don't want to hurt the person's feelings.

You may have heard about the research on communication.  Only a small amount of the message communicated is via words. About 7% some think. Therefore even though these people are not saying anything (with their words), they are communicating all the same (with their actions, body language, facial expressions and silence). 

Have you been on the other side of this? You sense there is something going on that people are not putting words to. It is unsettling, undermining, disempowering.

One of the things I help people to do is to put words into situations. To authentically, honestly, fully communicate with the other person what is going on.

To not do so as unkind and denies the person the opportunity to improve.

So next time you choose not to say something realise that you are communicating a message all the same. It is far better to put words to it in authentic communication.

 I will be running another Difficult Conversations course soon. Click here if you want to be informed of when it’s happening and receive a 10% discount. 

https://mailchi.mp/89346d76e0e2/difficult-conversation-course-10